Beyond Your Control
by Yamashita Miharu
Summary: Another Oneshot IchigoxRenji Ichigo comes to finally accept the feelings he has for Renji R


**As you can probably tell, I like writing one shots, as it doesn't leave any room for writer's block so this is another bleach oneshot IchigoxRenji **

**Enjoy!**

Beyond Your Control

Renji walked up to Ichigo casually. The boy, now a healthy age of 18, looked at him. They were in Ichigo's room at the Kurosaki house.

'You had fun since our last meeting, then?' Renji hoped asking this question would disguise the fact that he was sitting himself down on the foot of Ichigo's bed.

Ichigo, sitting at the pillow end, shot him a dirty look. His eyes scanned over Renji and his weird clothes, before going back to reading. He didn't reply.

'Had to fight any hollows all on your lonesome?' Renji asked, picking up the substitute death-god pendant form Ichigo's bedside table and studying it. It had been given to Ichigo three years ago by Soul Society, as a thank you for saving it. He still was regularly called upon to become a Shinigami to this day, and annoyingly, they usually sent Renji to accompany him fighting hollows.

If only he would get some decent clothes… 

Again Ichigo's eyes wandered over the bizarre outfit Renji modelled; one you might expect the stereotype tourist to wear. The only thing missing was the wide-rimmed hat complete with dangling corks…

'You're looking kinda spaced out.' Renji said. 'You ok?'

Ichigo muttered something and returned to reading. He hated times like this – when there was nothing to do in between hollow attacks but wait for them to happen. Awkward silence floated between the two.

'Wanna do something?' Renji asked. 'Go somewhere?'

'How bout you go get a decent outfit?' Ichigo said sarcastically. Renji played a hurt face.

'That's not very nice.' He said. He pouted – completely Yumichika style.

Ichigo frowned deeply, causing Renji to smirk. He loved winding Ichigo up. It was so easy after all.

Just like it was so easy to like him in that mysterious, unexplainable way… 

Ichigo opened his mouth to let out another sarky comment, but decided against it. He would let it slide – this time.

'Hollow attacks must be slow today, huh?'

'Obviously.' Ichigo spat through gritted teeth.

'Of course maybe they're all too busty laughing to attack the living world.' Renji said casually, examining his fingernails.

'Why the hell would they be laughing?' Ichigo glowered at Renji over the rim of the book with eyes like slits.

'Because of the scene you made the last time we fought one.' Renji said. 'The one with the hundreds of legs.'

'I didn't cause a scene, baka.' Ichigo sighed. Renji was surprised he wasn't reacting in a more…screaming-hysterical-girl way.

'You did.' Renji continued. 'They'll all be laughing at your shit-ass fighting techniques. Man, you _were_ having a slow day weren't you?'

'Shut the hell up!!!' Ichigo exploded.

There's the feisty Ichigo I know and love… 

Renji smirked. 'No. I think I have a fair point. You were so desperate to kill it you didn't notice that every time you hacked its legs off, they just grew back. _That's_ why it will be laughing. _That_ was careless.'

Ichigo bared his teeth and made a growling sound like an angry dog. Why did Renji always piss him off so badly? Get to him so _easily_? Get _inside_ his head effortlessly?

'You…ARGH!!!' Ichigo leapt from his lazy, cross-legged position on the bed at Renji, who dodged it easily. Ichigo's shoulder made hard and painful sounding contact with the floor.

'Tut tut, Ichigo.' He said in a mocking voice, irritating the boy all the more. 'You defeated me, Ikkaku, Kenpachi, four lieutenants bare-handed and even Kuchiki-taicho, and you can't even predict that I would dodge your careless leap?' He sniggered and watched Ichigo pick himself off the floor.

Ichigo rubbed his aching shoulder. He grimaced at Renji as he staggered up like a drunk who'd just been in a fight outside a sleazy bar.

'Well excuse me for not being up-to-date with your little Ichigo scrapbook!!!'

Renji uttered an amused chuckle. He didn't notice Ichigo grab the death-god pendant from the desk, and transform into a Shinigami. He dropped his body on the floor with a thud, that caused Renji to notice. He smiled, amused. The pendant glinted fiercely in the sun, dangling from Ichigo's hand.

'You and me, Abarai. Right now.' He said menacingly.

'Ooh…big talk.' Renji said, flopping down on Ichigo's bed.

'Get off my bed!' He yelled. 'Get out of your hideously dressed gigai and fucking fight me! All my spirit power's wellin' up cause there's no bloody hollows to fight!'

Renji rolled his eyes. Ichigo drew Zangestsu, which also twinkled as the light caressed it's huge blade, winking at Renji.

'Put it away, boy.' Renji said lazily. Suddenly, he leapt upwards like a bolt of lightning had been passed through his body. He felt the hot, sticky blood trickle down his face.

'You…you...'

'…flashstepped?'

'…cut me!' Renji screamed. 'On the _face_!'

Ichigo smirked. 'What's the matter, Renji? Just a critic who won't face up to the consequences?'

Ichigo disappeared again, re-appearing centimetres from Renji's face. He flash-stepped about the room like an excited puppy that knew it was going to the park for a nice long game of frisbee.

'Come on, Renji!' He shouted, suddenly appearing in his face again. He forcibly shoved Renji from his gigai by thrusting one powerful hand against his chest. The body dropped to it's knees and flopped onto the floor next to Ichigo's.

'_Oh yes_,' Renji thought. '_He is strong. This will be interesting…_'

'Let's go!' Ichigo shouted, making for the window. He leapt out, and with a small smile, Renji followed. His personality hadn't changed in the 3 years Renji had known him. He was still headstrong, determined and full of shit. He laughed.

They ran until they reached a large grassy clearing near the park.

'Well Abarai?' Ichigo hollered from across the grass, about 20 metres away from Renji. 'Show me what you've got!'

Renji let out an amused sigh.

'Howl Zabimaru!!!' He yelled. Immediately, his soul slayer released to Shikai. The freeform blade came hurtling towards Ichigo, but he merely dodged it, like Renji knew he would. He also knew Ichigo would appear to his back, right hand side after doing so. He immediately drew in Zabimaru and swung it to the right. It snagged Ichigo's robes. Renji pulled him back so he was centimetres from his own face. So that determined glitter in Ichigo's eye was staring right into his.

'Your movements haven't changed, Ichigo.' Renji whispered. 'I know the way you move too well.'

Ichigo frowned and let out a near roaring sound. He tugged away from Renji, and darted to his other side. He managed to cut Renji's robes. He had the opportunity to kill him, but of course, didn't take it. After all, he wasn't intending to actually hurt Renji.

While in the middle of this thought, Renji attacked him. He missed. Ichigo laughed manically and appeared behind Renji, who instantly felt something cold and sharp brush his neck. Ichigo rested his chin in the crook of Renji's shoulder and moved Zangetsu so it caught the light. He had the sword positioned over Renji's neck, caressing it lightly with the blunt edge of the blade.

'You were saying?' Ichigo whispered in Renji's ear. Renji couldn't help but smile.

'Impressive.' He said. He raised his head to it rested in Ichigo's neck, submissively allowing more of his own neck to be exposed to Zangetsu. Ichigo stared into his eyes.

'If you're going to cut me, cut me.' Renji instructed. Ichigo just looked at him before pulling Zangetsu away. Renji smirked and suddenly, without warning, darted backwards and caught Ichigo's ankle with the scythe shaped Zabimaru. Ichigo yelled in anger, only grasping that he had been tricked as he started to fall. Renji pulled Zabimaru back firmly, causing Ichigo to be tripped and fall forwards.

'Oh…no…you…Don't!' Ichigo spat. He grabbed the front of Renji's robes and pulled him down too. What he didn't think of was Renji's weight landing on top of him.

'Ha!' Renji said, laughing. He leapt up and took off at full speed in the direction of the Kurosaki clinic. Ichigo digested the look he was sure Renji had given him before taking off. He was _sure_…

Then he got up and followed.

0000

By the time they reached the clinic and scrabbled through the bedroom window, Renji was still laughing. Ichigo had the familiar frown back in place. He scowled madly at Renji, who was once again, lying on his bed, sprawled out and making himself at home.

'That wasn't funny!' Ichigo shouted. 'You fought dirty!'

'I play dirty, too.' Renji said. He burst out laughing again, no idea what he had just said.

'I could have broken my legs!' Ichigo screeched. Renji knew he was more upset at the fact that Renji had humiliated him, and it had nothing to do with his legs. He laughed so dementedly that tears welled up in his eyes. He finally got over it, and calmed down.

'I'm sorry.' He said. 'But you _did_ cut my face. And almost took my head off.'

'Oh please.' Ichigo said. 'I knew what I was doing fine well. You underestimate me, Renji.'

'That's the thing, Ichigo.' He said in such a serious manner that Ichigo's attention was suddenly snapped to him. 'I didn't underestimate you. I knew by the look in your eye – you knew what you were doing 100.'

Ichigo sat looking at him, puzzled. It was rare for Renji to compliment him. He knew the last question didn't require an answer.

'…You knew you wouldn't have cut me even in serious battle. And your subconscious knew that you wanted me in that submissive position – all yours. All under your control.'

Ichigo stared at Renji blankly. The frown and narrowed eyes had completely evaporated. He just stared, not quite sure exactly what expression his face was showing. He tried to read Renji's face. Renji stood up off the bed and advanced towards him. Ichigo was almost frightened of Renji. Part of him wanted to run away from fear of what he was going to do to him.

'Come here.' Renji instructed. Ichigo did not obey, but instead backed against the farthest wall. He jumped as if he's been electrocuted when he hit the wall. The gap between he and Renji closed in fast.

Renji was relentless in his pursuit, and wasn't going to give up until he got what he wanted. Ichigo knew him well enough to know that.

'_There's no use fighting' _A voice in Ichigo's head said. He didn't know if it was a little voice of his own, or Renji creeping around inside his head again.

'_He'll win anyway.' _The voice said again. It was a dark and almost unexplored part of Ichigo's mind – like an Aladdin's cave of possibilities. Another voice, louder this time, answered.

'No. You're doing this because you want to…' Did he? 

Renji's breath was close enough to feel. He pressed his body against Ichigo's sandwiching him between the wall and his own body. Ichigo reached out a hand to steady himself and knocked over an alarm clock. He stared into Renji's eyes, his own widening.

'There's no-where to go, Ichigo.' Renji said, a cruel smile plastered on his lips. 'What are you gonna do now?' Ichigo didn't reply.

Renji leaned teasingly close, cruelly brushing his lips against Ichigo's. Ichigo's reaction was just as Renji thought it would be.

Ichigo found himself leaning forward, his mouth slightly ajar, aiming for Renji's mouth. He wanted it. He _needed_ it. Renji pulled back as Ichigo leant forward, teasing him more. Ichigo yanked his head back and hit the wall, like some rabid animal had snapped at him.

'Did I really just _do_ that?!' Was all he could think. Was Renji brainwashing him?

'_Or maybe you really do want him after all, Ichi…_' that small but loudening voice chirped.

Suddenly, Ichigo forced his hands between their compressed bodies, letting him momentarily rest on Renji's chest, before shoving him roughly away.

Oh yes, he was strong… 

Renji looked rejected and confused, standing a metres or so away from Ichigo. He just stood, trying to understand. Ichigo didn't care if he thought he would regret it later.

He quickly advanced towards Renji. He saw the man's eyes flare when he read Ichigo's face. The teenager stopped abruptly before Renji, allowing him, this time, to be under Renji's control. He felt an odd and unfamiliar sensation creep through his bones at the thought of his whole body being at the mercy of Renji – every inch of him being under Renji's control.

Renji lay Ichigo on the bed, and Ichigo succumbed to Renji's advancing hands. Hands that slipped under the shoulders of his death god robes, and slid them off effortlessly. As the sensation spread to every corner of his body, Ichigo realised he liked it. He liked it a lot. He lay his head back on the pillow, baring his soul to Renji for him to do as he wished.

Renji grabbed Ichigo's wrists and forced them above his head. Ichigo didn't resist. He had no intention of doing so.

As Renji's fingers traced Ichigo's outline, and he lay on the bed helplessly, staring up at him, Ichigo finally came to understand the feelings he had felt when he had first seen Abarai Renji. Even though he was taking away Rukia, Ichigo had looked upon him with fear and above all – respect. Over the last three years, that respect had evolved into something much greater, with deeper meaning.

Ichigo raised one hand and touched Renji's neck. He then lifted the other. Renji paused, curious as to what he might do next. Ichigo mirrored Renji's earlier actions. He slipped his hands delicately over the well-built chest and shoulders of Renji, then gently undid his Shinigami robes. They fell to the floor.

'No fair.' Renji said. 'Yours are still half on.'

Ichigo noticed his bare chest fading into the crumple of black material. He smiled at Renji, despite knowing that they should not be doing this. Still, when Renji roughly tore off his robes and threw them to the floor beside his own, Ichigo didn't put up even a mild fight.

Renji leaned down slowly, feeling their chests almost fuse together and their hearts beat as one. A single bead of sweat rolled down Ichigo's forehead. Renji, enjoying making him squirm, waited several suspenseful seconds longer before kissing him.

It was the softest and most meaningful kiss Ichigo had ever experienced. Just the thought of what was happening made him feel hot and flustered. The heat made it's way up into his face. He opened his mouth more and slid his tongue forward to find Renji's.

'Calm down, Ichigo.' Renji breathed against his lips. 'All in good time.'

But Ichigo didn't have time. He wanted Renji now. All at once, but at the same time, wanted to make it last.

Renji took hold of Ichigo's waist and held it firmly. Ichigo almost liked it when Renji's nails dug deeply into his skin and scratched him. He leant painfully close again. 'Tell me what you want.' He whispered playfully.

'I want…I just want…' Ichigo found speaking difficult. His energy had been sapped and he was now limp and helpless – weak because his weakness was lying on top of him, him weight, heat and scent all combining to carry Ichigo off to a wonderful nirvana.

'I just want you.' He said feebly.

'I know.' Renji said in a soothing voice. 'Say no more. Just relax.'

But he was relaxed – completely. If he relaxed any more he would fall asleep. Renji soon put a stop to this sleepy thought. He kissed Ichigo's shoulders, taking in every freckle and tiny bead of sweat and every scar on the perfectly built body. He worked his way up to Ichigo's neck, until he reached just below his mouth. He cruelly waited until he had satisfied himself and tortured Ichigo enough. He kissed him again, this time more passionately, more intense. He slid his tongue to the edge of his mouth, only to find Ichigo's waiting eagerly.

His fingers traced Ichigo's frame, touching every scar. Every muscle clenched and rippled as his fingers passed over them, giving him an intense feeling of being in control. He stared into Ichigo's eyes – those two mesmerising pools of swirling chocolate brown. In return, Ichigo stared into Renji's, the mad red colour burning a powerful impression in his memory. The first time he had looked into those fearsome eyes…

Ichigo touched Renji's tattooed chest. He traced the tattoos further down Renji's body with one eager finger, that became two, that became his whole hand.

'It's not polite to stare.' Renji said with a smirk. He caught Ichigo's hands and laced their fingers together. Ichigo glanced down for a second, then back to Renji's face; curiously. Awaiting…

He felt his legs being forcibly moved apart, and noticed that Renji had moved their intertwined hands onto his thighs. Part of him was going numb. Renji positioned himself between his open legs and grinded their bodies closer together, if possible. The sight of their entangled limbs was barely visible to Ichigo over Renji's face. A lock of Renji's long red hair, now damp with sweat, brushed Ichigo's face, tickling his forehead and cheek. He had an excruciating itch that he desperately needed Renji to scratch…

Renji once again kissed his way down Ichigo's well-built torso. Ichigo watched him. Renji smirked. He took hold of Ichigo's waist again and roughly flipped him onto his stomach. Ichigo felt suddenly very nervous.

'It's ok.' Renji whispered comforting words in his ear. 'Just relax.'

Ichigo tried, and succeeded a little.

'Trust me.'

Ichigo did trust him. He trusted Renji with his life, as well as his body. He moaned a small, pleasurable go-ahead, but Renji was already going ahead. He touched the orange haired boy softly, allowing his hands to explore. Ichigo felt himself grip the side of the bed and utter another helpless little moan. Renji reached up a hand and stroked his hair as if to say 'It's alright. I've got you, and I promise I won't hurt you.'

Ichigo moaned again. He and Renji now moved in a steady rhythm, together as one. Ichigo knew he was safe in Renji's grasp, and if he wanted him to stop, all he had to do was utter the word.

But you don't want him to stop, do you Ichigo? 

Ichigo felt himself say 'no' out loud, but thankfully, Renji didn't hear. Ichigo realised he didn't really know how he wanted this to go, so he decided to let his subconscious, and his body, do the talking.

'Slower.' He suddenly heard himself say. Renji did so without a word, and Ichigo realised he liked it, and should listen to the little voice more often.

0000

Renji walked back into the bedroom an hour and a half later. His hair dripped from stepping out of the shower. He felt his stomach tingle as his eyes clapped his little Ichigo, asleep face down on the bed, the sheets in a crumpled mess around him. He lay in an awkward, spread-eagled position that looked almost painful. He walked quietly over to the bed and crawled in beside Ichigo. The sun beat down on their bare bodies, intensifying the heat. Renji didn't care. He protectively wrapped an arm around Ichigo and pulled him closer to his body. He touched the boy's chest and closed his eyes, feeling Ichigo's once again peaceful heartbeat.

He sniggered to himself at the small cut on Ichigo's head that resulted from them being a bit too vigorous in their activities. His poor head had cracked off the headboard. Renji stroked it tenderly.

He also studied the large, dark slash marks on Ichigo's thighs and waist. He had similar ones, he had noted in the shower, all over his body.

'Maybe I shouldn't have been so rough, huh?' He asked quietly, his fingers lost in the mop of orange hair below him.

'I could handle it.' Ichigo groaned, still half asleep. He rolled into the shoulder of Renji, then nuzzled his head against his comforting chest.

'You awake?' Renji asked, stroking his face with one finger. Ichigo nodded, probably not wanting to interrupt the steady beat of Renji's heart in his ears.

'Good.' Renji said. He fell onto his back, with his arms behind his head, and stared at the ceiling. 'I thought I had tired you out so much you'd died.'

'Baka.' Ichigo muttered. He yawned, intensifying his cuteness in Renji's eyes, who smirked at him. Ichigo moved his head back onto Renji's chest, and stare dup into those demonic red eyes. Those eyes that were presently calm and comforting.

'Renji?' He asked.

'Hm?' Renji lazily replied.

'I've always kinda looked up to you.' Renji sniggered at the thought of Ichigo admitting such a thing.

'And this doesn't change anything, right?' He stated firmly with a hint of his usual I-hate-you voice. Renji contemplated on it. He agreed it was fun when they had fights. He decided he'd had enough for now, and would just wait til Ichigo cracked.

'Of course not.' He said, smirking down at Ichigo. 'And you can look up to me now.'

That's exactly what Ichigo did.

**Hey! Hope you liked it… it took me ages to type out and I'm so bored now lol R&R please!!**

**Yamashita Miharu xxx**


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